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Mortgage Mole: Street wise?

Intrepid Mole, Mortgage Mole-2017
digging up
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Street wise?

Many of you are aware that the FCA is moving its existing Canary Wharf headquarters out of central London, to Stratford in the east.

However, Mole hears that some of the regulator’s more sensitive souls are worried about “knife crime and gangs” in the vicinity of their new location, and said so in an internal consultation.

Some even requested a shuttle bus to ferry them the 200m from Stratford station to the FCA’s new base, while others didn’t want to be in the area after dark.

Those familiar with Stratford know the area is gritty in parts, but definitely not in the environs of the world-famous Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, where the FCA will be located…

Scrambled eggs

The mortgage market is full of hidden talent. Mole was interested to hear recently that Accord national intermediary sales manager David Robinson was also a proficient juggler.

Apparently, one of David’s party tricks is to juggle several raw eggs, which he likes to practise in the kitchen at home. “It really winds up my wife,” he tells Mole.

Your subterranean correspondent sincerely hopes David doesn’t do this too often, in case his wife snaps and goes for the juggler. [No puns, I said! – Ed.]

Burrowing trouble

Mortgage companies decide to rebrand for all kinds of reason but Mole had never encountered one that was changing its name to avoid being confused with a furniture retailer — until recently.

Mole was chatting to a staffer from digital broker Burrow Mortgages, formerly called Dwell. The Burrow insider informed him that a large part of the reason for the firm’s rebranding initiative was that consumers kept mistaking the company for the bed retailer of the same name.

“We had people on the phone every day complaining about lumpy mattresses,” the staffer said.

Mole didn’t like to point out that the firm’s new identity might cause confusion of a different sort, with subterranean dwellers — such as Mole’s own neighbours — potentially mistaking it for a desirable new residence. 

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