Mortgage Mole: I’m not drunk, it’s just my sciatica


What a nerve

Over the years, Mole has come across a lot of poor excuses for someone being unexpectedly inebriated, many sourced by digging around in the mortgage industry. From ‘I haven’t had any dinner’ to ‘I had a dodgy pint’ to ‘I’m actually taking antibiotics’, your brave correspondent thought he’d heard it all.

But the Mortgage Strategy Awards last week may have delivered the least plausible excuse yet. One guest was clearly deep in his cups, to the merriment of others nearby. But an associate of the overly refreshed attendee defended him, saying: “I wish everyone would stop saying he’s drunk. It’s just his sciatica – it makes him walk a bit funny.”

Mole is still unclear about the link between the temporary nerve condition and rapid alcohol absorption, but is seeking medical opinion on the matter.

Boxing clever?

Mole heard from Rose Capital Partners managing director Richard Campo last week, who said his new firm was ticking over well.

But not content with launching a new company, Campo told Mole he was training hard for his boxing debut as part of a white-collar boxing event at the end of March. Some industry grandees from Alexander Hall, Barclays, Charles Cameron, Clydesdale, Knight Frank, Lloyds, MAB, New Street, Pink and Santander are down to witness the fight.

Mole heard Campo was taking inspiration from Irish mixed martial artist Connor McGregor, including his stirring mantra: “Be passionate, be optimistic, be grateful.”

Campo must be taking his training very seriously as he told Mole he was not even drinking at the moment.

Tickets for the event are available at £50 a pop and donations will be given to domestic abuse charity Refuge. You can give via Campo’s JustGiving page:

Good luck, Richard.