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Mortgage Mole: Car before the storm

Intrepid Mole, Mortgage Mole-2017
digging up
the stories
behind the news

Car before the storm is now an ex-car

Following all the stormy weather we had earlier this year, spare a thought for Coreco’s Andrew Montlake.

The mortgage industry troubadour tells Mole that a particularly windy night led to a big tree in his neighbour’s garden being blown over.

Fortunately, no neighbours or Montlakes were harmed. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Monty’s car, which was directly in the path of the falling tree.

It lends a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘driving wind’.

Car-Crash-Polaroid

too much seasoning

2018 is obviously well under way but Mole recently heard a little festive titbit that he couldn’t help wanting to share.

Rumour has it that a particular mortgage network’s Christmas party got a little out of hand, leading to a scuffle with another group at the venue.

The resulting fracas required a total of seven policemen to break it up. In addition, according to Mole’s source, a member of the executive team was later discovered, recumbent, underneath a Christmas tree.

What’s that saying about a season of goodwill to all men?

tribute acts

Mole admires the spiritedness of British SMEs — as well as their love of comical business names. From fish-and-chip shops called Codrophenia to florists named Back To The Fuchsia, Mole appreciates the lot.

Last week your intrepid undercover reporter learned of two more examples, both in the property industry, which tickled his monocle: an Isle of Wight-based estate agent is trying to copyright the name ‘Wightmove’ (obviously a take on Rightmove); and elsewhere a removals firm, doubtless influenced by the ubiquitous CompareTheMarket’s movie sub-brand, is seeking to lock down the title ‘Meerkatmoves.com’.

Mole admires both efforts but hopes the original firms to which they are tributes have a good sense of humour.

waist disposal

Hunt-Bob-2017-CUTWith the number of black-tie mortgage events seeming to increase all the time, spare a thought for Paradigm chief executive Bob Hunt (right).

Bob tells Mole that, owing to the amount of cycling he does, he has dropped two trouser sizes and is now the size he was when he joined the RAF aged 17.

What’s so bad about that, you ask?

Well, losing weight gradually can lead to some surprises when it comes to donning items of clothing you wear only rarely, and Bob recently attended a black-tie event with his dress trousers held up with a large safety pin.

well judged

An unfortunate aspect of the winter of 2017/18 has been the volume of flu-type illness cutting a swathe through the mortgage market — and elsewhere.

Mole knows many individuals who have recently fallen victim to the unfortunate malady. Can anyone recall a worse winter for illness?

The recent outbreak has been so severe that even Masthaven’s Matt Andrews (left) succumbed and was forced to take his first sick day in 20 years.

Despite this, stalwart Matt reported for duty at the Mortgage Strategy Awards judging session the very next day. What a trooper!

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