The Mortgage Mole

Digging the dirt in the mortgage world

Not cricket
Editor Robyn Hall was on holiday last week so it was inevitable that he would end up in this week’s column. But even Mole could not have predicted why. The boss’ trip to Lanzarote became biblical as a spectacular plague of locusts descended on the Canary Islands. The bright pink creatures are called sky prawns, and up to 100 million of them had to be destroyed.

Hall took the setback rather well and said he particularly enjoyed playing locust cricket by the pool using a rolled-up copy of The Sun. But what could have angered the Lord enough to send down these insects? Readers may remember that Hall’s trip to the US last year coincided with a rather nasty forest fire sweeping the country. Any bets on next year’s disaster – frogs or boils perhaps?

Unlucky break
Just to prove yet again that there is no escaping Mortgage Strategy, even while on holiday. Platform’s head of sales and marketing, Guy Batchelor, probably thought he was safely out of our reach but he was, of course, wrong. Deputy editor Rosemary Gallagher was after a quote and thought who better to call than the Platform supremo. She realised he was out of the country from the ring tone, but was a bit shocked to find she’d disturbed him at 5.30am at the plush Waldorf Hotel, where he and his wife were taking a break. At least Gallagher didn’t wake him – he couldn’t sleep as he was suffering from jetlag.

On the run
PR maestro and mortgage market prophet John Wriglesworth has been entered for next year’s London Marathon. He will be running on behalf of Mortgage Strategy, raising money for Breast Cancer Research.

MS ace hackette Natalie ‘Nurse’ Martin will be supervising 47 year old Wrigsie’s training, making sure he’s whipped into shape. Mole is convinced that this was more his idea than hers.

He aims to complete the run in under five hours, beating his previous best of four hours 68 minutes. Rumours abound that deputy ed Gallagher and reporter Barney McCarthy might also be joining in the run.

Pampered
Mole was wined and dined last week at GMAC-RFC’s ‘ladies who lunch’ day at Harvey Nichols – how simply splendid dahling.

Deputy editor Gallagher was looking fresh-faced after her exclusive Harvey Nicks facial, but tense hackette Martin reportedly found it difficult to relax during her massage.

Clearly the stress of mortgage regulation has taken its toll, although Mole feels it might be more likely to have something to do with Wriglesworth’s forthcoming training regime.

Happily, she soon had plenty more luxury to take her mind off it. Our lucky ladies were treated to a day of pampering, including dining in the swanky fifth-floor restaurant, before heading off, slightly tipsy, with £20 of shopping vouchers.

Features ed Helen McCormick, back in the office, was not amused.