Walking and eating need exams just as much as borrowing

I was interested to read about the idea for an exam to be taken by prospective home owners.

In this day and age of hidden dangers, these sorts of initiatives should be supported thoroughly.

Might I also offer some other suitably sensible and well thought out suggestions:

  • A theoretical sexual activity exam and a ban on practical activity unless the prospective participants are able to produce a completed certificate.
  • Walking also carries many hazards so a similar certificate is required. Foot discs displaying this should be worn by everyone when using public footpaths, with heavy penalties for those walking without displaying their qualification on a valid disc.
  • It has been known for people to suffer injury while eating – even death – so a ’cutlery and consumption’ certificate would be helpful in reducing these dangers.
  • I also think we have become quite rude and disrespectful as a nation, especially when we are abroad, so a ’polite and pleasant’ qualification should be earned before a passport is issued.

JONATHAN BURRIDGE