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The Mortgage Mole

Coming home

So, with England&#39s hopes dashed by a dodgy ref, Mole and the rest of the mortgage industry began to bid a sad farewell to Portugal last week. “The only good thing to come out of the England-Portugal game was that a Spurs player scored,” PMS national mortgage manager Malone told Mole. “Portugal pick Postiga and he gets his first goal in 26 games.”

Meanwhile Mole was busy totting up the benefits the mortgage industry has injected into the Portuguese economy. With a host of lenders, packagers and brokers entertaining in the sun Mole&#39s surprised London&#39s eateries have managed to stay open.

Top flight

Ever eager to impress, King Bopper of BM Solutions managed to ensure posh totty was in attendance for the flight back to Blighty after England&#39s crushing of Croatia. “Posh Spice was in front of us when we were checking in at Faro airport,” St Michael told Mole. “I knew it was her when I saw the tattoo on the small of her back.” Quite how Bolton knows Posh so intimately is anyone&#39s guess but the maestro&#39s fun didn&#39t stop there.

“To top it off we had running commentary on the way back from Joe Royle, the former Everton star and Ipswich manager turned TV pundit.”

Talk about laying on the class.

Kicks

Last week was one of footballing ups and downs for both the England team and for faithful Strategy staffers. Biggest (piss) up of the week was, of course, the England victory over Croatia. But earlier that day there was a less spectacular performance by the Strategy football team in The Mortgage Works&#39 five-a-side tournament in sunny Wapping. Mole could only watch in wonder as editor Hall attempted to lead deputy ed Ironside, ad manager Wendes, reporter McCarthy, columnist Neal Smith and office reprobate John Forsdick (an early retirement for nicotine) to victory. Despite the sterling efforts of a fearless Ironside in goal Strategy managed to concede 15 goals and score none, the upside being that we got to fit in an extra hour at the bar. Special congrats to Mike Riley, case manager at Hamptons, who was caught on camera in a compromising position with a sleepy Ironside (pictured).

Odd couple

The hunt was on last week for Walter Aberilli, the mysterious Charcol employee supposedly helping Ray Boulger table a management buyout.

“He&#39s no relation of mine,” Walter Avrili, head of mortgage development for Charcol, told Mole last week. Meanwhile, brokers were even more amazed that Boulger was leading an MBO. “Ray&#39s good on products but he&#39s not a businessman,” one told Mole. “I&#39d say he&#39d have difficulty leading a scout troupe, never mind an MBO.”

A surprised Boulger confessed to Mole: “Where these stories come from is anyone&#39s guess but I must admit I&#39m flattered.”

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