A great tackle by Alan Shearer leaves him out cold

With some blinding displays of football recently - notably Everton snatching victory from Manchester United in the FA Cup semi-final and Arsenal’s stunning 4-4 draw with Liverpool at Anfield last week - I was reminded of a story about Newcastle manager Alan Shearer at his local building society back when Nationwide sponsored the Championship.

He’d not been there five minutes when a gunman burst through the door demanding money. Shearer attempted to tackle him but got knocked over. He fell down, smashed his head on the counter and was out cold. The robber escaped and the cashier tried to revive Shearer. When he came round, he spluttered: “Where the hell am I?”

“Don’t worry,” replied the cashier, “you’re in the Nationwide.” “**** me,” replied Shearer. “Is it May already?”