The Mortgage Mole

JAW, JAW NOT WAR, WAR

Further to last week&#39s Mole story in which he voiced his fear of John Malone, Mole was proud to have seen off the man from the Pru with a stunning blow last week. The Glaswegian/Cockney Celtic fan retreated – minus a tooth – following a brief encounter over lunch with Mole. Mole a thug?! How dare you suggest such a thing. It was the prawn sandwich what dunnit! No really – it was. Poor fellow&#39s still suffering from that tooth-loosening difference of opinion with an irate Rangers fan in April.

MAILSHOT FIAtSCO

Judging by a recent broker e-mailshot by the Staffordshire Building Society, it seems the mutual has some very canny operators on board. Aghast at the price of advertising in AutoTrader or any of Staffordshire&#39s many quality local rags, one tight-fisted opportunist used the mailshot to 18,000 brokers to plug the sale of his son&#39s car.

After drinking in the virtues of the discount range, brokers were amazed to find the following attached: “PS: Son is selling his Fiat Coupe 20V, 99T, ink black, 60k mls, FSH, leather, 6cd, aircon, bodykit £6995 ono.” Never let it be said that the Staffs offers nothing but old banger products.

A&L Hell

Alliance & Leicester&#39s latest movingimproving index finds that spending on DIY is at a two-year low, although painting is still the most popular activity. Mole was quick to point out DIY spend might be a bit higher if borrowers with A&L didn&#39t have to fund a 1% proc fee to brokers (see last week&#39s Mortgage Strategy and the front page of the Sunday Times&#39 money section). A grateful A&L spokeswoman gushed: “Thank you for your helpful input”…

DOVER SOUL

Mole hears that Brentchase Financial Services guru Mike Fitzgerald&#39s new one-stop shop for rosbifs wanting holiday homes in France and frogs seeking London weekend retreats is being bypassed in favour of the much simpler idea of…hopping onto the back of a lorry. At Cherbourg docks at the end of a week of important research into the estate agents and clarets of Normandy, Fitz spotted at least ten keen &#39holidaymakers&#39 trying to get to Dover in the aforementioned fashion. He assures Mole that this will not be part of the package offered by Brentchase International.

BIRTHDAY BONANZA

Celebrations will, of course, be unconfined for Mortgage Strategy&#39s first birthday, but Mole is overjoyed to hear that the MCCB will be footing the drinks bill! For September 17 is not only significant in being one year to the day since the first Mortgage Strategy rolled off the presses, but also sees the launch of the MCCB&#39s annual report. A scan of the invite to supper aboard HMS Belfast reveals the all-important word: “informal”. While Mole hesitates to predict the event could degenerate into a booze cruise, indecorous behaviour is sadly to be expected… This week&#39s photo: Pink&#39s own Bet Lynch (aka David Copland, left) poses again (What&#39s new? Ed), here with Mike Perry, sales and marketing manager for Amber Homeloans. Printable captions only.