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The Mortgage Mole


HIP star As director-general of the Association of Home Information Pack Providers Mike Ockenden is clearly used to dealing with a hostile crowd.

It was a typical reception at the Land Data Great Housing Debate in London last week. Following a question about whether HIPs should be scrapped the panel was critical, to say the least, about the government initiative. Ockendon was asked to defend HIPs by the debate’s host John Wriglesworth.

But Mole was amused by Ockendon’s introduction of himself to the crowd, which played on his likeness to adult entertainment legend Ron Jeremy.

“For those of you who don’t know me I’m the one with the 1970s porno-style moustache,” he told the crowd.

Party games With just over a week to go before the general election, the political jokes are doing the rounds and in the name of political fairness, Mole has got one for each party.

Labour: Snow White arrived at the seven dwarves’ mine with their lunch only to see that there had been a terrible cave-in. Fearing the worst, Snow White started calling out, hoping the dwarves had somehow survived.

“Hello,” she shouted. “Can anyone hear me?”

Minutes went by without an answer. Just as she was about to give up, she heard a faint voice deep within the mine that was singing, “Vote for Gordon Brown, vote for Gordon Brown!”

Snow White fell to her knees and cried out: “Thank the Lord, at least Dopey is still alive.”

Conservatives: A lifelong supporter of the Labour Party was on his deathbed when he decided to join the Tories.

“But why?” asked his puzzled friends. “You’re Labour through and through, why change parties now?”

The man leaned forward to explain.

“Well, I’d rather it was one of them who died and not one of us.”

Liberal Democrats: Question – How do you upset Heather Mills?

Answer – Nick Clegg.

Berry good cause We’ve seen a growing trend of the great and the good of the industry getting fit and running and cycling for charity.
To add to this list we have Jason Berry, head of distribution and strategy at Safe&Secure Insurance Services, who is running in the Blenheim Palace triathlon on June 6 for Leukaemia Research.

“I have a target amount of £1,000 and am on around £400 so any promotion would be appreciated,” Berry told Mole.

Anyone who wants to dip into their pocket for this worthwhile cause can do so at jasonberry2.

Note to everyone An enthusiastic lender employee was left red-faced last week after reading about a rival’s latest product release online.

The keen worker spotted a story on Mortgage Strategy Online that Northern Rock had cut rates on its Everyday range. Meaning to leave a note to herself to bring up the latest deals in an upcoming team meeting, instead she posted the comment ’for team meeting’ on the actual story, inadvertently letting our readers know how closely she was watching her competitors.

Strategy Towers then received a sheepish request for the comment to be removed.

Mole suspects there may be some suspiciously similar rate cuts to Northern Rock’s in the near future.


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