The mortgage mole

Mole was more than happy to enjoy the fine company of Future Mortgages, High Street Home Loans and Northern Rock while on a jolly to Newcastle last week. Fine wine, fine food and fine company made for a most enjoyable evening. But it was the after-hours entertainment sans HSHL and Northern Rock that really caught Mole&#39s imagination. He could only marvel at the site of United winger Nolberto (Nobby) Solano and centre-back Titus (Titty) Bramble enjoying some of Newcastle&#39s finest beverage. That Mole would be joined in such a high class venue by his fellow celebrity slappers is only natural. But just what went on? That would be For Your

Eyes Only.

Crystal balls Maybe things are starting to become crystal clearer for Nick Baxter. It seems that certain sections of the industry have turned against the little fellow re some of his more outrageous comments concerning mortgage clubs. “Seein&#39 as he&#39s got a bloody alphabet after his name, he can have some more letters,” my irate source quips: “FWCC – F*****g W****r Crystal Clear!” Mole would never be one to speculate or spread malicious gossip, but mortgage clubs offering exclusive deals at the expense of the consumer? It&#39s just not crystal clear.

Smoke alarm With George Bush (and indeed, Norwich Union) on the lookout for hostile &#39blowback&#39 from Al Quaida, it was left to UK mortgage industry hacks to stick one to the Yanks last week. Two of our clean-living cousins were in for a scathing lesson in English social etiquette from one of Mole&#39s most tenacious fellow-predators. Having sat down in a classy Soho pizzeria as guests at Mortgage Express&#39 marvellous industry-journos night out and duly lit-up fags all round, the party of 15 was amazed as two US tourists instantly demanded that our cigarettes be extinguished. Mortgage Edge&#39s Helen Loveless gave a creditable rebuff as the departing Puritans expressed their disgust at our apparent rudeness, suggesting UK visitors to the US would never get such terrible treatment. Mole wonders if ex-ex-pat John Lennon would agree…

Golden Slippers Mole would like to congratulate financial PR company Lansons for an exemplary response to a situation that could have easily landed one of their prime clients flat on their rear. While at Lansons&#39 annual shindig in London last week, Mole had a rare uncouth moment and let a glass of champagne slip from his hand (well, rodents aren&#39t designed to drink – that&#39s why we have to practice so much). With Lansons clients, Mortgage 2000 and Mortgage Express closing rapidly across the darkened floor, embarrassing slipped-on-champers-puddle disaster was averted as a previously concealed rapid-response cleaning crew swooped in with massive bucket and industrial-sized mop. Extras? When are they filming the next Bond?