Jurassic Parked

Meanwhile it’s a case of 3,000 miles of separation for Quantum managing director for Jonathan Burridge and his team.

Burridge is stranded in Canada after breaking his leg on a skiing trip and it seems moving him is out of the question.

“He’s a big, big guy,” Quantum director Fahim Antoniades told Mole. “He takes up two football pitches over here in the UK and we are not sure even a Boeing 747 could accommodate him.”

Quantum is thinking of chartering a barge, Jurassic Park-style, to rescue the mortgage mogul. Mole sends his heartfelt condolences to the brave men and women of the Canadian health service who have to lift him out of bed each day.