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The diaryof Doobry Wotsit

On edge and offline

Monday. Another great start to the week. I think things are really starting to look up.

The second working week into March, it’s only Monday and by 11.53am I’ve already booked two new clients for appointments on Wednesday and Thursday respectively.

The first shouldn’t be a problem. They want to buy a 167,000 one-bedroom flat in Toddington and have a 10,000 deposit.

It’s a fantastic desirable residence, with local amenities close by. Well, to be fair, it’s above the respected Toddington Fried Chicken Company.

But although it’s above commercial premises I just know that the taste of those sweet chicken wings will swing any deal my way.

And I should mention in my notes here about the luxurious spa next door too. I’ve personally had a good rubdown there in the past and can certainly vouch for their would-be neighbours.

The second case I’m not so sure about but we’re making good progress on a self-cert basis.

The couple are second-time buyers who are looking to buy a property closer to Luton and want 500,000 for a 1m property.

Although faultless on their credit score I’m still not sure what he does. It’s a bit dubious whether putting down on the application that he is the UK head of distribution for the Columbian Marching Powder Company will actually do the trick. On the plus side, they do have a 500,000 cash deposit.

Tuesday
It’s been quiet today but I’ve spent the time working out my next marketing strategy. Last week I paid 687 for the local printers to do 10,000 A4 flyers and off the back of it I got the two couples that I saw on Monday. So today I’ve mailed over to the printer a new advert that will have a print run of 40,000.

Wednesday
Had an early morning today. I was on Magic Me A Mortgage FM to do my regular 3.30am financial advice slot. What a bunch of muppets early morning listeners are.

Still, I heard from one listener who wants to release equity from her mother’s home. I’ve now got a meeting with Gloria on Monday – it was worth staying up all night. She has a cousin, Gainalot, in a similar situation too.

Friday
Yesterday was a nightmare. I spent four hours on the phone to my printers over a typo in the 40,000 flyers that I ordered on Tuesday.

It should have read: “Wotsit about mortgages you want to know?” Instead I received 10,000 copies today that read: “Wotsit about mortgages you don’t want to know?” The remaining 30,000 were being sent direct to my local supermarket.

Still, I’ve already had three phone calls from people who thought it was a market research campaign. They told me they didn’t want to know about protection when they bought a mortgage. I told them I couldn’t agree more.

Spent the rest of the day reading Mortgage Strategy. There’s a lot of talk of diversification but I really don’t know what everyone is going on about.

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