The Mortgage Mole

Top man Mole was celebrating PMS’ 15th anniversary last week in the swanky Paramount restaurant at the top of CentrePoint in London.

John Cowan, non-executive director of Sesame Bankhall Group, paid tribute to chairman John Malone’s work over the years and related how Malone once promised to get up and coming comedian Michael McIntyre a mortgage.

Before hitting the big time, McIntyre was supposedly struggling to find a mortgage as a self-employed stand-up, but when performing at a mortgage event heard of Malone’s godfather status and challenged him to find him a mortgage – which Malone did the next day.

It would seem the godfather really does know how to make someone an offer they can’t refuse, à la Marlon Brando.

Top rate Mole was amused to read a story about Standard & Poor’s on spoof news website The Daily Mash last week.

The site poked fun at the credit ratings agency saying it had upgraded itself to Triple-A Plus Super Fantastic. The site says the new rating means the agency gets the best table at The Ivy, can jump any queue at Alton Towers and gets Sky HD with all the sport and movie channels at the introductory price forever.

“No-one outside S&P could understand or indeed be allowed to examine our rating criteria, but let me assure you they’re 100% accurate,” S&P analyst Wayne Hayes was quoted as saying. “In fact, make that 150%.”

Top flight Not satisfied with the rush he already gets from working in the mortgage market, Mortgage Strategy editor Robert Thickett is embarking on Shelter’s Virtual Rush challenge on March 1, with Legal & General. It involves sprinting up 920 steps at London’s Tower 42. He can be sponsored at: www.virginmoneygiving.com/RobertThickett