The Mortgage Mole

Digging the dirt in the mortgage world.

Red faces Oh the horror. You’d have thought that the staff at a consumer mortgage magazine would know the different market sectors that lenders are involved in. Not so over at Your Mortgage where The Mortgage Business managed to scoop a ‘highly commended’ award in the best adverse category at last week’s awards ceremony.

“It’s amazing,” Mole’s TMB source quipped. “How on earth did we manage to pick up anything in the adverse category when we don’t lend on adverse? Still, every little helps.” Indeed it does. “I’m just glad it was Your Mortgage and not mine,” PR gnu Richard Hurst piped up. “Imagine the rates.”

Exposure And so to the Mortgage Business Expo and the Battle of the Stands in which Mortgage Times seemed to have the upper hand. Ever the skinflint, marketing guru Payam Azadi decided to scale up and managed to have two floors to his stand, denting the coffers of show organiser Clarion Events as exhibitors only pay for floor space. “They weren’t too impressed,” Azadi confessed to Mole.

Dress nonsense Meanwhile, not wanting to be outdone on the beauty front at this year’s Expo Mortgage Times was proud to display its promotions girls fully attired in Greek goddess costumes on its stand. Wondering what classical dress had to do with Mortgage Times, Mole asked the Tottenham Court Road Scud Azadi about the get-up.

“They have nothing to do with Mortgage Times,” Azadi owned up. “These girls are just my fantasy. Last year I wanted nurses so we had nurses. This year I wanted goddesses so we have goddesses.”

Alarming After a heavy night at the Mortgage Expo party, industry pundits staying at the Dorchester hotel only managed to get a couple of hours’ kip before they were rudely awoken by a fire alarm and forced to evacuate the building. They then had to spend nearly an hour shivering on Park Lane before it was declared a false alarm and they were allowed back to their rooms. Mortgage Angels’ Nat Daniels was one of the unfortunate few forced to expose his bedtime attire to the rest of the world.

“I’m pretty sure it was a set-up designed to undermine the mortgage industry,” he told Mole. “Thank God I was wearing my PJs and didn’t have to greet the industry’s finest in the buff.”

Sweet At this year’s Expo, the chocolate fountain seemed to be the most popular spot and although it managed to escape the attentions of MS chocaholics Natalie and Rebecca, Nicolette couldn’t keep her mitts off no matter how many times fellow hack Lee dragged her away.

“You’re going to spoil your figure,” Richard Bennett, director at broker Flexible Money Management, told the lithe hackette, who had a mouth full of chocolate marshmallow at the time.