The diary of Doobry Wotsit

With all that has been going on recently I was glad when Grand National weekend came round. I even had a win after placing a 50p each way bet on 100:1 shot Mon Mome.

After dealing with Gloria and her mum and with the funeral coming up I got to thinking of my mum and the name Mon Mome struck me like a bolt of lightning.

I spent most of this morning chasing protection leads from last week. We had a substantial increase in leads, quadrupling our catch from two to six clients – a 200% rise.

Looking forward to catching up with my old pals Jon, Deborah and Malcolm.

Tuesday

This was meant to be a sombre day, what with Gloria’s mum’s funeral and all, but I got a call from Gloria late last night saying the funeral had to be postponed.

Apparently there is a query over the autopsy report – something to do with the amount of sodium in her blood. Still, I used my spare time to look over the latest Treating Customer Fairly guidelines.

I’ve always struggled with this concept as I’ve treated my customers fairly for years – even Michael Toogood despite what he called me when his endowment didn’t mature.

Usual slot on the radio tonight.

Wednesday

Last night’s show was fun. A doctor from Cambridge University was on just before me explaining how too much salt can kill you.

Have made a note to cut back on salt and will mention it to my clients. There may even be a benefit in insurance premiums and I have made a note to look into it.

As to my bit, we didn’t talk about mortgages this week but Monopoly money instead – something that is now known as quantitative easing.

I went to see Jon today. As I thought from looking at his online profile, life hasn’t treated him well. The flat he is living in is next door but one to Dierdre’s spa. It’s a gloomy place and he wants to remortgage but I’m not sure I’ll be able to help him. He says he’s self-employed, working as a model and on the door of a nearby beauty salon.

Thursday

I have my first official complaint. After more than 15 years Mr and Mrs Obmar have complained about the way I handled their self-cert application and what has happened since. I’m not happy about this, not happy at all.

Friday

Deborah and Malc dropped by at 08.45am to say they couldn’t make the 3.15pm appointment we’d arranged. It turns out Deborah is now a top pathologist and an important case is taking up all her time. Malc, Deirdre and I arranged to go for a pie and a pint on Monday instead.

I’ve just heard on the radio that Gloria has been arrested on suspicion of murder. They think she was slowly killing her mother off to cash in on her estate. Must try to make an appointment to see her.

I wonder if Her Majesty has financial advisers for prison inmates. There could be an opportunity here.