The Mortgage Mole


Stark condemnation for Mole from the irrepressible John Malone last week.

“I didn&#39t touch a drop of absinthe while I was in Prague, you git,” he fumed.

“It was all Walter Avrili – nothing to do with me.”

Apparently, poor Walt needed rescuing from the depths of despond after realising that he might come a cropper with a bet laid on Chelsea finishing above Arsenal (like that&#39s going to happen).

“Walt was beside himself,” Malone confessed. “Downing the absinthe seemed like the best option at the time.”

Old news

Red faces in Portman&#39s e-commerce division last week.

“You may have received a Portman Product Update dated October 31 2003 via email earlier today,” some poor soul declared. “Please ignore this message.” Mole hears a batch of old emails was re-released due to a technical fault “beyond our control”. Tut tut.

Easely pleased

Meanwhile, this week promises to be one of high culture for Mole as he drinks in the delights of the National Gallery courtesy of those nice folk at Alliance & Leicester.

“The reception includes a chance to see the current show in the Sainsbury Wing, the first major exhibition in Britain of El Greco including 50 of his paintings normally housed collections around the world,” A&L chairman John Windeler told Mole.

“Despite the fact that his works were created 400 years ago, many of the pictures seem modern. El Greco inspired a number of prominent 20th century artists.” Mole can&#39t wait.

Quids out

After last week&#39s sad news about Hamptons MD Kevin Duffy&#39s losses, news reaches Mole of a £500 wager between em-financial&#39s Roger Morris and SPML&#39s John Prust on the respective fortunes of their beloved Middlesborough and Leeds.

A cursory glance at the Premiership table would suggest that thoughYorkshiremen are supposedly astute with their money, Prust will be parting with his shortly.

Indeed, Mole would go so far to say that if Leeds&#39 stock gets any lower, Roger would be able to buy the troubled Elland Road outfit with the aforementioned monkey.

Well red

Embarrasment all round at a certain downmarket pink paper last week.

That bastion of accuracy that delivers F*** All certainly knows how to mislead its readers. Mole could only laugh when it was officially announced that Paul Thomas, the ops director who quit Mortgages PLC, was joining Opus as MD of its commercial division. Of course Mortgage Strategy broke news of his move way back in December – only for the poor scribblers at the downtrodden pink to be duped into believing he was not.

Yet again, sweet FA from those who think they look prettiest in pink.