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The Mortgage Mole: The Donut Man


The Donut Man

You’ve no doubt heard of the muffin man – he lives on Drury Lane – but now Mole hears that the slightly flabbier Donut Man has come to the mortgage industry.

As you can see from this week’s caption picture, Ferndown in Dorset-based Positive Lending took a visit from the provider of donuts recently.

Our BDM Matthew Vincent was surrounded by donuts that were provided courtesy of Precise Mortgages to celebrate a record month in August,” Positive Lending’s managing director Paul McGonigle told Mole. Tasty.

The Trouble with the EU

For anyone scratching their head at why we need the new EU mortgage directive, John Charcol senior technical manager Ray Boulger provided Mole with an EU themed joke.

”A farmer was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver leans out the window and asked the farmer, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?” Using his laptop he calls up an expensive GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location and do a thorough count. “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

It’s the right answer but the farmer makes a wager with the young man that if he can guess what his business is he can have the animal back. The young man agrees. “You’re a Member of the European Parliament”, says the farmer.

“Wow! That’s correct,” he says. “How did you guess?”

“You showed up here even though nobody called you, for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked,” he said. “And you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”



Shawbrook sets up fast-track bridging team

Shawbrook Bank has launched a short term lending team, which will exclusively manage those deals that require a fast turnaround. The new team will be made up of three lending managers and a lending officer and has been formed after an increase in demand for short-term loans. As Shawbrook looks to bring more bridging products […]


Remember the lessons of the past

There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth around the recent launch of Magellan Homeloans given the new lender will be offering products to those borrowers who have experienced adverse credit. Part of me thinks this is understandable especially when we talk about ‘sub-prime’ mortgages given there is a fear of returning to the days […]

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David Cameron appoints former adviser to Tony Blair as new pensions minister

Following a cabinet reshuffle in light of last week’s general election, David Cameron has announced that Ros Altmann will be replacing Steve Webb as pensions minister. As the industry works with one of the largest reforms to the sector in almost a century, the former adviser to Tony Blair has been tasked with ensuring that the pensions revolution does not stray off track.


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