The Mortgage Mole

\"Digging the dirt in the mortgage world...\"

Popped out

The Mortgage Strategy crew got a bit carried away at a karaoke session with BM Solutions last week.

The hacks and ha-ckettes were taken for cocktails at posh London restaurant Hakkasan, followed by singing and dancing at a smelly karaoke bar.

Although windows began to shatter when it was Matt Grayson’s turn on the mike, dark horses Clare Mortimer and Leah Milner blew everyone away with their incredible voices.

But Rebecca Atkinson and BM Solutions’ director Tim Hague put in the best performances on the night. Hague did his sexiest version of Delilah by Tom Jones and Atkinson received a standing ovation after a stunning version of Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights.

To finish, rap duo Hague and Nicolette Botbol gave funksters the Black Eyed Peas a run for their money with their version of My Humps. Hague sung: “What you gonna do with all that junk? All that junk, inside your trunk?”

Botbol responded: ” I ma get, get, get, get you drunk. Get you love drunk off my hump.” Bless.

Early start

Gentlemanly Jonathan Cornell, technical director at Hamptons Mortgages, was red-faced at the opera last week after visiting the toilet before the show.

Strategy’s associate editor Clare Bettelley, who had been invited by Cornell to see Nabucco at the theatre in Holland Park, was left waiting for him and wondering if he’d had something dodgy for lunch as he seemed to be taking his time. In fact, Cornell had slipp-ed through another entrance and when his guests gave up waiting for him, they found him already in his seat.

Green Godfather of the mortgage industry John Malone sponsored a table last week at the 40th anniversary bash for Celtic winning the European Cup (now Champions League). Celtic triumphed in every competition it entered in 1967. It won the Scottish League, the Scottish Cup, the Scottish League Cup, the Glasgow Cup and the European Cup.

Celtic reached the European Cup final again in 1970 but was beaten by Feyenoord. In 2003, it lost the UEFA Cup final against Porto. It was knocked out in the quarter finals the next year. In the same period, Mole’s beloved Liverpool won the European Cup five times, but who’s counting?

Vino nothing

After decades of boozing, Mole assumed he knew a few things about alcohol but while he’s mastered the three Bs – bubbles, beer and bollock-naked-the-day-after-in-a-place-not-your-home – the subtleties of wine still elude him.

On a wine tasting event last week with Abbey, Mole and team mates, nicknamed ‘Bazza’s Boozers’ after Abbey’s chief economist Barry Naisbitt, were confident they knew about wine. Alas not. In fact, they picked up the booby prize – a particularly vinegary bottle of plonk. Fortunately, their palates are so unrefined they couldn’t tell the difference between that and the pricey bottles they’d sampled earlier.