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The Mortgage Mole

HEAVE TWO
Mole was fed to the fishes last Monday as Mortgage Strategy played host to our annual fishing trip. Now in its third year, the Loan Shark reunion proved to be popular, well, at least to those who managed not to be sick. Mole wouldn’t have blamed Iain Williamson and Dave Horsman from BM Solutions for feeling a little green around the gills considering all that’s been happening in their neck of the woods recently. But it was the choppy waters rather than work matters that left the BM Solutions boys with their heads in their hands as Shark Bait’s exclusive caption photo below shows.

Almost as soon as the boat left port, Williamson was struck down with the dreaded seasickness and was soon joined at the side of the boat by Horsman. The rest of the crew barely heard a word out of them, and a smile only lit up Williamson’s face twice – when Horseman rushed retching into the compact fishing smack’s snug toilet cubicle.

CALL OF THE SEA
Shark Bait thought the point of fishing was to haul fishies up from the seabed but it seems no one told Pink Home Loans’ Dev Malle. Instead of concentrating on landing a catch the supposed able seaman was so busy taking phone calls that he managed to drop his mobile over the side of the boat. He then watched on in horror as all hope of communication with dry land sunk beneath the waves. Needless to say he blamed the choppy sea for the mishap rather than the Guinness and champagne cocktails he’d been sipping all morning.

FIRST PLAICE
While Malle mourned the loss of his dog and bone others were left slinging their hooks, lines and sinkers. None with more gusto than Terry Pritchard of Chase UK fame who managed to net the catch of the day in the shape of a three foot long dogfish. Meanwhile Cap’n Guy Batchelor wiled away the hours using his specially prepared ragworms and sailed away with the prize for netting the most fish on the day, leaving Cobalt Capital front man Andrew Montlake lost for words after landing his first ever fish.

FRIEND IN NEED
For Loan Shark stalwarts Richard Hurst and Payam Azadi it was a real trip to remember – they actually paid for their own hotel rooms this year. Hurst will always be remembered for trying to impersonate MS hackette Helen McCormick back in 2003 – and everyone knows how tight Payam is.

Meanwhile, for mortgage maestro Kevin Friend the trip was another classic. He is seen here making light of Dev Malle’s plight. More next week.

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