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Sour notes

The credit crunch has also brought out the creative side of would-be musicians on YouTube.

Instead of posting would-be chart-topping love songs, many are turning their hands to composing ditties based on credit crunch themes.

Some of Mole’s favourites include the Credit Crunch Anthem to the tune of Elton John’s Candle in the Wind.

Goodbye Bradford & Bingley/Though I never banked with you at all/It’s nice to know my taxes will save you when you fall/You were very generous/Self-certified mortgages you gave/£50bn in personal loans/That can never be repaid.

And it seems to me banks live their lives/Throwing caution to the wind/Never banking on liquidation when the rain sets in/And I would like to know who’s gonna feed my kids/My credit burned out long before/My repayments ever did.

Another good song is Cityboy:

Another day of hard number crunching/Then I’m off to lunch/I’m munching Russian caviar, smoking big fat cigars/Then I’m in the hot tub in the back room of a strip club.

I’m just a City boy/Another loaded pretty boy/Columbian export in my brain/I’m off my face again/Another million dollar deal/It’s a bargain, it’s a steal.

And then there’s My Old Man’s a Banker, although Mole’s not 100% sure on the pronunciation, and wonders if the performer might be singing about something that rhymes with banker:

My old man’s a banker/He drives round in a Rolls/He lives in a great big mansion/And enjoys exotic hols/He draws his six-figure salary/With bonuses on top/Remortgaging your house and home/Until the market drops.


MPC unanimous on £75bn asset purchase

The Monetary Policy Committee voted unanimously in favour of both the £75bn Asset Purchase Facility and the 0.5% base rate reduction, committee minutes reveal.

Fat chance

A couple of weeks back Mole brought you the news that sales of chocolate and fast food were on the up as struggling consumers indulged in a spot of comfort eating to ease their monetary sorrows. Well, last week the situation got worse.

UK policy: Kate Moss and short-termism

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” said supermodel Kate Moss, who is not often credited for her insights into policy making. Perhaps she should be. In politics, as in matters of diet, the course of action that is the best over the long term is often not the most desirable course of action in the short term. Add the instant gratification of the democratic electoral cycle and, instead of good policy making, you sometimes get the equivalent to a midnight binge in front of the fridge.

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The value of an investment and any income from it can fall as well as rise and you may not get back the amount originally invested. Forecasts and past performance are not a guide to future performance. Some information and statistical data herein has been obtained from sources we believe to be reliable but in no way are warranted by us as to their accuracy or completeness. These are Neptune’s views and as such this document is deemed to be impartial research. We do not undertake to advise you of any change to our views.


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