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Sour notes

The credit crunch has also brought out the creative side of would-be musicians on YouTube.

Instead of posting would-be chart-topping love songs, many are turning their hands to composing ditties based on credit crunch themes.

Some of Mole’s favourites include the Credit Crunch Anthem to the tune of Elton John’s Candle in the Wind.

Goodbye Bradford & Bingley/Though I never banked with you at all/It’s nice to know my taxes will save you when you fall/You were very generous/Self-certified mortgages you gave/£50bn in personal loans/That can never be repaid.

And it seems to me banks live their lives/Throwing caution to the wind/Never banking on liquidation when the rain sets in/And I would like to know who’s gonna feed my kids/My credit burned out long before/My repayments ever did.

Another good song is Cityboy:

Another day of hard number crunching/Then I’m off to lunch/I’m munching Russian caviar, smoking big fat cigars/Then I’m in the hot tub in the back room of a strip club.

I’m just a City boy/Another loaded pretty boy/Columbian export in my brain/I’m off my face again/Another million dollar deal/It’s a bargain, it’s a steal.

And then there’s My Old Man’s a Banker, although Mole’s not 100% sure on the pronunciation, and wonders if the performer might be singing about something that rhymes with banker:

My old man’s a banker/He drives round in a Rolls/He lives in a great big mansion/And enjoys exotic hols/He draws his six-figure salary/With bonuses on top/Remortgaging your house and home/Until the market drops.

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