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Slime time

I’ve never been a big fan of eco-warriors, whether full-on activists causing chaos on May Day or mundane tree huggers who think polar bears are drowning at a rate not seen since Noah floated his ark.

But neither am I a fan of politicians and certainly not Lord Mandelson. Which is why I was pleased when Leila Deen threw a bucket of green custard over Mandy earlier this month. Apparently, Deen believed “the only thing green about Mandelson is the slime coursing through his veins”.

After the Deripaska affair last summer she may have a point but while the notion that Mandy is slimy is convincing I’m sure other politicians would be more worthy recipients of the Tiswas treatment.

For example, Gordon Brown, who still refuses to apologise for the mess we’re in, is much more deserving. And with William Hill opening a book on which dessert will be next to be thrown over which minister, it’s no surprise that spotted dick is 3/1 favourite, ice cream 4/1 and rhubarb fool 5/1.

On the other hand, Alistair Darling has already taken steps to apologise.

“If there is fault it is our collective responsibility,” he said last week. “All of us have to have the humility to accept that things got out of alignment.”

This must have been off-message as it infuriated Brown and word is that Darling may pay with his head.

This would be a mistake. Darling may not be the greatest chancellor but nobody else in government understands the financial markets as well as he now does. And he looks like a panda, which may be no bad thing in a bear market.

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