When it comes to freedom, Ireland leaves England without a leg to stand on

By Godfrey Furlong

Having just got back from a fortnight’s sailing off Cork I hollered good and loud at the response given by Sue Clarkke, head of marketing at new kid on the block lender edeus, to the silly wailings of some vapid fraulein from the organisation Object which apparently railed against the objectification of women in an edeus advertisement.

Surely this is a British, nay English, thing. Being politically correct about women’s legs in stilettos harks back to Victorian times when table legs were draped in floor length tablecloths to shield the offending wooden props from the eyes of lecherous males.

I wonder what would be the comments from Object about a massive poster I saw in Ireland on a hoarding on the Cork City ring-road advertising a stout brewed in that city and making inroads into Guinness’ market share. It showed a pint of the aforementioned beverage being fondly pushed across a bar by a smiling black female of ample proportions and bore the slogan:
‘Have this black and never look back’.

The locals didn’t give it a second thought, and, when I mentioned it to a hotel barman his reply was: “You, sir, if I may say, have been living in England too lond. Haven’t ou got the Thought Police over there? Some fool tried to stop suck posters here years ago but the government shut them down for promoting censorship in a free society. When will you all get a grip over there? Have another pint.”
I know where I want to retire to five years from next Friday.

Godfrey Furlong
Kendal Street Brokers