The Mortgage Mole

Monty’s music Mole knows round table lunches are usually off the record, but the gossip from our most recent event is just too juicy for Mole to keep to himself. Ignoring Quantum boss Jonathan Burridge’s comments that he likes to be called Doreen of an evening, Mole uncovered the secret musical past of Cobalt’s Andrew Montlake after B&B’s Jessica Bigus let slip that she was in possession of one of a limited-edition run of 10 CDs that Monty cut some years back.

Indeed it seems that the bearded one once belonged to a band called Purple Hearts. So if you too are one of the lucky owners of a copy, please share this slice of musical genius with Mole and we’ll make it the industry’s number one download. Send it to Strategy Towers and a brown envelope full of readies is waiting

Fine breed Outrage in Norwich last week, home to some of the lending industry’s finest, after an MP declared inbreeding in Norfolk began “way back in the past”. Former science lecturer Dr Ian Gibson was forced to apologise after saying inbreeding may be partly to blame for a rise in cases of diabetes in his constituency.

“In a county where it’s from way back in the past where there have been smaller numbers of people, localised in small areas, there may be some degree of familiarity, family relationships, you know, in terms of brothers and other families with the same name and so on,” Gibson told BBC Radio Norfolk. Mole’s assured he must be mistaken.

Falling Mole wasn’t expected to be in the office this week after foolishly promising that he would abseil down Platform’s mighty 220ft sheer glass Docklands HQ for the excellent cancer charity Clic Sargent.

Having managed to club together a whopping 3,000, Mole was expected to lead a crazy gaggle of staff from Strategy Towers to the Sunday morning death wish.

Duff goal It is perhaps the greatest moment in sporting history. No, it’s not Liverpool winning the Champions League. It’s not even Chelsea-related, and it’s certainly nothing to do with England. It’s Kevin Duffy, captured in my snap below, just about to knock one in the back of the net.

Nut job It seems Mole has finally met his match. Meet the honey badger, which pound for pound has the reputation for being the most fearless animal on the planet despite its small size. The find was made by Lansons’ Georgina Mills. Apparently, when they attack, they go for the, ahem, scrotum.

“They even go for lions,” Millsie told Mole. “You best watch out.” However, despite the wealth of folklore that surround them, all similarity to Mole stops right there. Fortunately, honey badgers are still relatively unknown and seldom seen. Until now.