Disorderly

Twelve members of Nottingham’s marketing team are likely to remember a recent 40th birthday celebration forever.

A seven-hour tour of the city’s drinking dens left them with several sore heads and at least black eye.

The biggest casualty was internal communications officer Helen Haynes. Allegedly she got a shiner from undertaking an unintentional bout of all-female wrestling.

“It was like watching a low budget version of Saving Private Ryan,” one observer told Mole, clearly confusing the blockbuster with porn remake Saving Ryan’s Privates.

“Drunken bodies were everywhere and in the middle were two blondes, one of whom looked like a panda that had reached the end of the line.”