The Mortgage Mole

Digging the dirt in the mortgage world

We woz robbed
The Strategy team descended on Queens-way Bowl last week for the inaugural Trigold World Bowling Championships.
Having scooped the Trigold darts title a couple of months back, the MS gang were keen to make it a double, but it wasn’t to be. Thickett’s bouncing bomb technique, which mercifully managed to avoid damaging the alley or innocent bystanders, was minimally effective. And the less said about Natalie’s unorthodox style, the better. The title went to the Introducer rabble but victory comes at a cost as Mole understands that Mr Griffiths (no relation) was confined to his bed the following morning with a stiff neck caused by his vigorous… bowling.

Natalie sees West
While Mole was busy travelling back in time last Tuesday at the Council of Mortgage Lenders Dr Who themed annual dinner, hopeful hackette Natalie thought she would see if her future consisted of any tall, dark, handsome strangers and decided to have a psychic reading. Alas, the outlook remains bleak. “There seems to be a man called Matt or Matthew who will come forward with his feelings in the next few weeks,” the tarot reader chirped. Distraught, Natalie quickly headed to the nearest Westerly exit.

In the thick of it
And so to Wednesday and the exclusive Milk & Honey club courtesy of those nice folk at Scottish Widows Bank. Never one to miss a free drink Thickett was knocking back the Moet & Chandon, and all was going well until he tried his hand at comedy.

“Three Santas turn up to give blood,” he chortled. “The nurse takes a sample from each for testing and announces, ‘How funny, you’re all the same blood group O,O,O!'”

Irish Rover
There were high jinks aplenty at Kensington Mortgages’ Irish Christmas bash at Waxy O’Connors last week. Already well oiled after lunch with Bristol & West, the Strategy team caused mayhem at the party. Barney saw fit to steal the Kensington stamp used to identify partygoers and began branding people’s foreheads with the Kensington logo, leaving Thickett to take full advantage of the free bar.

Farmyard Fun
Mole has been hearing for some time that all is not well on the Godfather front but it seems our very own mortgage maestro has finally bitten the bullet and opted for a new career… as a farmer. Yes, it would seem John Malone has made the transition to plastic fantastic, cropping up on page 48 of the Lego Christmas catalogue.

“There’s lots to do on the little farm,” the catalogue reads. “This colorful set includes a barn with working winch, the farmer, his wife, cows, pigs, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and much more.”