The Mortgage Mole

pittwatch Mole and his cronies have been keeping their beady eyes peeled this week for signs that the infamous Brian Pitt, formerly of Beacon Homeloans, has returned from holiday and started the long and arduous process of looking for a job.

One source tells Mortgage Strategy that the sales maestro had been spotted in a suit outside Morgan Stanley’s head office. But before people jump to conclusions, Mole should point out that Pitt was also seen in the dairy section of Iceland in Hackney, with a group of Japanese tourists outside the Houses of Parliament and at a farmer’s market in Sussex.

speedy success Everyone knows that many stars of the kids’ TV series Byker Grove went on to have illustrious careers.

Jill Halfpenny recently won Strictly Come Dancing and has also starred in Eastenders, Donna Air still acts, lives in London’s Belsize Park and married a billionaire and, most famously, Ant and Dec mutated from a geeky pop duo into the hottest television presenters around.

But what many people don’t know is that Steve Bradley, who played the dim Speedy in the Geordie drama, left the world of fame for mortgages and is currently employed by Terry Pritchard as IT director for Chase UK.

All Mole can says is: “Why aye man.”

love to help Despite the huge lack of success of Mortgage Strategy’s first lonely heart, his determination has inspired another to find love in the mortgage world, this time a member of the fairer sex.

She says: “Petite, curvaceous, brunette mortgage babe with shy disposition seeks tall, dark, handsome, non-smoking estate owner. Large packages only. Previous applicants need not apply again.”

Mole is tempted to apply himself, but has already been informed that he doesn’t meet the criteria. If you do, get in touch.

lost and found At last week’s MoneyFacts awards do at the Brewery over in the City hackette Natalie Marlin asked someone she took to be another industry guest for directions to the room where the awards were being held.

Little did she know, until the awards commenced and a familiar-looking man walked on to the stage, that her guide had in fact been TV comedian Tony Hawks, presenter of the awards.

Clearly out of touch, Mole suspects Natalie is more of a Desperate Housewives fans than a lover of stand-up comedy and on this occasion the joke was on her.