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The Mortgage Mole

There’s a mousse loose

The Council of Mortgage Lenders held its annual dinner last week and its director general Paul Smee hit the market’s funny bone in his opening speech.

He revealed that 1,050 guests were in attendance on the night, a record for the event, and coincidentally he said, “the same number as the number of texts I have received inviting me to claim a PPI refund”.

The starter on the night consisted of tapas, which Smee explained in his speech had been invented by Philip III of Spain, who died in 1621 and was King of Castile and Leon.

“Philip saw the serving of food, alongside alcohol as a good means of combatting excessive drinking,” Smee told the audience.

“Philip the third of Spain had never worked in the mortgage industry.”

Continuing on the subject of the food set to be served he explained that desert had been inspired by the governor elect of the Bank of England, Canadian Mark Carney.

“We also like our menus to be topical at the CML- the governor elect at the Bank of England governor elect is a Canadian. Pudding this evening in a mousse.” Boom boom.

Merry Valentines Day?

Judging by the contents of Mole’s inbox this week, it is undeniably coming up fast to that most auspicious holiday – Valentines Day.

Yes, just in case Mole was indeed considering writing a piece about that most wonderful of annual holidays in the near future, the good people representing the SinglesAroundMe app have been in touch to ask whether a story about Valentines Day could be brightened up with the mention of an app which tracks people you have never met.

Frankly it just sounds like a heterosexual version of the hugely successful Grindr app for gay and bi-curious men looking for a good time.

But for first time users of SinglesAroundMe concerned about revealing their exact location the PR puff reveals that users can now choose “how much, if any, of their precise location they wish to share; they can keep it exact, hidden or approximate which displaces the users real location by a mile or two”.

Next time Mole is looking for a prospective mate this sounds like a great idea, but surely pitching the product in December is the equivalent of putting Christmas decorations in August?

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