Trash Talk: ‘Streamlining’

TrashTalk_Mortgage-Monkey

Mortgage Monkey reveals the gibberish littering the industry’s press communications

BUSINESS SPEAK OF THE WEEK: ‘Streamlining’

CULPRIT: Unnamed

On the face of it this is an innocuous-sounding word but Mortgage Monkey would like to warn readers that context is everything.

Occasionally the term is used to describe the speeding-up of tedious processes or ironing-out of IT issues, which generally makes one’s job easier.

However, Monkey extends his sympathy to any reader who hears this word uttered by their HR director. Spoken within your earshot, it means only one thing: your job is on the line.

Whenever large corporates are hit with unsustainable losses, they ship in a team of management consultants (a.k.a axe-wielders) to carry out a ‘review’, during which other euphemisms such as ‘efficiency drive’ or ‘search for synergies’ are used to describe their process of identifying which members of staff are most sackable.

But no sugar-coated terminology makes these words more palatable. Anyone who has lived through a recession or two knows this is their cue to start stockpiling office stationery and send LinkedIn requests to potential new employers.

Submit your own examples by emailing: sam.barker@centaurmedia.com