Dead cert
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And finally, an alternative way to explain the collapse of the securitisation market.
Young Paddy brought a donkey from a farmer for £100, and the farmer agreed to deliver the beast. The next day he drove to Paddy’s place.
“Sorry son but I have some bad news,” he said. “The donkey has died.”
“Well then just give me my money back,” replied Paddy.
“Can’t do that,” said the farmer. “I’ve already spent it.”
“OK then,” said Paddy. “Just bring me the dead donkey.”
“What are you going to do with him?” asked the farmer.
“I’m going to raffle him off,” said Paddy.
“You can’t raffle a dead donkey,” said the farmer.
“Sure I can,” replied Paddy. “Watch me - I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later the farmer met Paddy again.
“What happened with that dead donkey?” he asked.
“I sold 500 tickets at £2 apiece and made a profit of £898,” said Paddy.
“Didn’t anyone complain?” asked the farmer.
“Only the guy who won,” said Paddy. “So I gave him his £2 back.”
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland.
